Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Technically, I am still the same since I weighed in the next day at 198.5
Technically, I am up 2.5 pounds from my lowest weigh in.
But, I am actually not frustrated this time. I think I have lost weight. It is not my favorite time of the month right now, which of course means water retention. I have also exercised several times. I think I am on the right path, but the scale just isn't showing it at this time.
But, I have had some victories.
Hubby and I went away for a ski weekend this past weekend and I stayed on track throughout the entire trip! I took healthy snacks and made good choices when we ate out. Woo-hoo!
Friday, January 25, 2008
I can't go skiing without thinking of the first time we went. As I've mentioned before, I'm challenged when it comes to being graceful. Ahem.
A few years ago, hubby and I took a long weekend to do some skiing. We had never been before and it was just the two of us that went. No sense in embarrassing ourselves in front of our friends, right?
We'll embarrass ourselves in front of strangers. That's much better.
When it came to skiing, I just couldn't "get it." I was an avid roller skater as a child and tween, but skiing just didn't click with me. Hubby, on the other hand, took to it like a duck to water. I needed to take a class and he took it with me. We learned a lot, but it would be safe to say that if this were the public school system, I would have been in the remedial group.
Finally, it starts making sense to me. Class ends by riding the lift to the top of the beginner slope and skiing down. As we're going up, I see a Hill. Neither one of us thought that would be on our slope because it was definitely pretty substantial.
I get off the chair without a problem (I hear that's a challenge for some folks - I could do that all day long). We ease down the slope. The teacher taught us the best way to control your speed is basically by skiing pigeon toed. That comes to me naturally, so I wasn't really having a problem. The farther you separate your heels, the slower you'll go. When you are going down hill, you can bend one leg, then the other and you'll make "S" curves as you go down the hill instead of going straight down. It's a good way to control your speed.
Hubby and I are doing OK as we go down. Then we approach The Hill. Yep, it's on our slope.
Folks, I just stopped at the top of the hill. Stop. People are having to ski around me and I don't care. I kept telling Hubby and the instructor, "I can not do this." Hubby and Instructor encourage me and remind to just do "S" curves on my way down and I'll be fine.
Hubby steps off the hill and demonstrates perfect S curves. That comforts me and so I decide to step off, too.
I take off like greased lightning. I am flying down The Hill to what I surely think will be my death. I am literally screaming "Help me!!" "I can't stop!!" waving my arms wildly, with my poles waving in the wind.
Then, I did something really smart.
I turned around to see if Hubby or Instructor is coming to my rescue. (Like an idiot, I really expected the instructor to speed up and help me.) Hubby? Instructor? Can't see 'em. I'm on my own. So, I'm "skiing," out of control, down hill, not looking where I'm going.
Then, I had a moment of clarity: I told myself I've had a class. I should know what to do. Take the proper stance. Bend one leg, then the other. I'll curve and slow down.
And, you know what? That's what I did.
Granted, it took me a while to slow down from my breakneck speed, but I finally got in control, slowed down, went around a curve, and ended up skiing over to the side to wait for Hubby.
And I waited. And waited. What was he doing?? Why wasn't he skiing quickly to come help me, for goodness sake?
Finally, I see him come around the curve and he is skiing so. slow. He's looking to the left, then the right. Back and forth. I'm wondering what he is looking for. Then I realize what it is - he's looking for me amongst the trees on the side of the slope. Bless his heart.
Finally, he sees me waving and comes over. As soon as he comes to me, I start on him, "Why didn't you HELP me?? You or that instructor? No one helped me."
He said, "Honey, no one could catch you. You took off, went around the curve, and I couldn't even see you. Granted, I could hear you, but couldn't see you."
We had a good laugh and I let him know the important news I didn't fall!!
And, you know what, I'm stupid enough, I mean brave enough, to go back every year since.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Today's weight is 198.5.
Who knows? Maybe yesterday's reading was a fluke.
But, it certainly got me back on track!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
I am up to 201, which is driving me crazy.
But, not crazy enough to stop me from eating 6 (S-I-X-!!!) cookies last night. I had a great day, then had to stop by the grocery store and sabotaged myself.
I think there were only 10 cookies in the pack. I ate 6 of them. The last one didn't even taste good because it was so sweet, and I just threw away the entire package so I wouldn't be tempted anymore.
Jan wrote a post that really helped me out. You can read it here. It's easy to get caught up in the day before, week before, or even month before and forget where you came from.
I am still the same chick that
- has lost 31 pounds
- watched every bite I ate and made good, healthy decisions
- made time to exercise 2-3 times a week
I have the same tools to reach my goal. It's up to me to continue to use them.
I am not failing, I just had a setback. That's the difference between this time and every other time I've "dieted."
I'm starting back today.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
And, you know what?
It isn't so bad.
I think it's kind of like being on a diet. The first week is the hardest, but once you make up your mind and make a lifestyle change, it gets easier.
I'm bringing less stuff into our home and, as a result, it's not quite as cluttered. I'm spending less time gone from the house, so I'm getting more done.
I read about these other women who are true homemakers and I really envy their lifestyle. (not envy in a negative way) They have their act together and cook and clean and maintain.
I'm still a work in progress!
Friday, January 11, 2008
- "It doesn't matter if I do this or not."
- "I'll just not blog about what I buy."
- "What does it matter if I just buy _____? It's not a big deal."
It does matter! And, I need to be honest about it, too.
Actually, I'm already seeing the rewards of it. Since my credit card purchasing has gone down, I will definitely be able to put more of my paycheck into our savings account this month.
What are my reasons for doing this? Two reasons. One is I really need to establish some kind of budget and learn to live in it. Second, our home doesn't need "stuff." Stuff requires time. Time to put it away, clean it, organize it, store it, etc...
I'm giving myself the gift of more money and more time to do other things.
Then why is this so hard??
Why are there amazing shoe sales going on right now?? I'm being tempted, but so far, I am staying strong.
Tell me, blogging experts, if you've done this, did you lose your links? I clicked on the code from a free template company, pasted it here, and when I previewed it, my links were gone. Including my blogroll, links in recent posts, pretty much everything in my sidebar except "About Me."
I really like the idea of a new look, but I have no desire to basically go through my entire blog and re-link everything.
Will my links really carry over, but they're not showing in "preview" mode? Or, is this what's supposed to happen when you get a new (free) template?
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
So, this is how it's going with me not spending more than $25 per month in January and February of this year.
I'm really being tested, people!
I met a girlfriend for dinner Monday night (her treat since this was for my birthday) and afterwards, she wanted to go shopping. We ran into a department store that I had already visited due it's amazing clearance sale. (I told about that experience here.) I found a cute denim skirt for summer marked down to $6. That happens to be in my budget, thankyouverymuch.
Then we went to one of my personal favorites: T@rget. I love that place! I wasn't going to buy anything. Then, we just happened to be in the shoe department. My recently purchased (in late 2007) shoes were now marked down by $10 since they were on clearance. I bought the clearance ones and will return my previously purchased ones, saving me money.
That gives me $10 "free" dollars to spend there since I won't really be spending anything extra, once I return my shoes purchased at full price. (Are you following my train of thought?) I found a centerpiece I "need" for my patio table on clearance for $10, so I am breaking even, right?
(If you're not following me, this makes perfect sense to me.)
Then, I found an awesome shirt. I, for some reason, just LOVE this shirt. It's the perfect shade of yellow for me to wear in the fall to Georgia Tech games. (Not to mention, it will look great with my $6 skirt, too!)
So, what do I do now? That price would eat up a lot of my monthly budget and it was only the 7th of the month.
I improvised. At home, I have two sweaters from Target and I remembered that I meant to return them, but didn't. That should be around $34 credit, more than enough to allow me to purchase the shirt and a necklace I found that looks great with it.
So, as it stands now, I have spent $7 this month.
And, I have no more returns to squeeze in, so I officially have $18 to spend the rest of the month.
All that math gave me a headache. I think I'll have to spend more time at home!
No earth shattering news... I have been sick as a dog, which means eating regularly, but no exercising due to coughing and sinus issues. I am a pound below my pre-Christmas weight! I am now at 196.5. I keep thinking about how much lower that number could be if I could move around, but I have been on the couch or in the bed for the past few days. I think tonight I might try to get some activity in since I am finally on the road to recovery.
Maybe I am the only one who feels this way, but I have to share this.
So much of this is a mental struggle. It's not just about what I eat. It's not just about how much I exercise. I mean, January 2nd'ish, I was really fighting the thoughts of
- This is just where I need to stop.
- I should accept that I'm this size.
- I've done well. I can stop here and be proud of my accomplishment.
- I probably can't reach my goal anyway. How many times have I failed in the past?
- I could gain five pounds and still be able to fit into my clothes. No one would even know.
- I'm just not strong enough to do this. No one else feels the way I do. Everyone else is just zipping through their day...
Does anyone else fight through thoughts similar to these? Maybe it is just me - and that's OK. But, I find if I can just stick with it, despite my feelings, the numbers on the scale continue to move. And, I guess that's what matters. But it is harder to do it when I'm not always confident that I can do it.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
(My goal, in all things, is to be honest. I'm going to journal my experience with not spending - with my commentary - and you can feel free to think that I am doing OK or making excuses.)
So, I decided to stop at a local department store to look for my dad's bday present. I found a great deal on a new dress coat for him, which he certainly needs. Then, like a dummy, I wandered over to the women's section just to "look" for a "minute" because things were on "clearance."
So, this clearance sale? It was heavenly! I found nice white tshirts (both round neck and v neck) for...
Yes, people. $1.20 for a nice, thick tshirt. Plus, this store lets you keep their wonderful hangers. So, I purchased two tshirts for $1.20 each and got hangers that I love.
Then, I found a cute hooded sweater, with matching tank for $7.60. So, I got it, too.
I want to say, for the record, that I have a $10 gift certificate to this store (did you notice that $1.20+$1.20+$7.60 = $10 exactly? Coincidence? I think not.), so I did not spend any money except for the sales tax.
However, in this experiment, I noticed that it would not have been smart, in my opinion, (and this is my blog, after all) to have not purchased those white tshirts because that was a need and a great deal that would not be around later.
So, like a politician, I have changed my position on the issue.
Instead of spending no money until March 1, I am going to spend less than $25 per month.
(Just so you know, I just revised that sentence about 100 times. I started with $100 per month. Finally, leaving it at $25. I reserve the right to go back to $50. )
Here is my rationale:
- If I don't give myself some leeway, then that means if I spend $1, I definitely am not keeping my word. In my mind, why bother then? So, I am affecting my lifestyle greatly , but not making it impossible for me to succeed.
OK, that's where I'm at now. But, I haven't discussed Monday night yet...
Friday, January 4, 2008
I am going to try to not spend any money between now and February 29th.
That may sound weird at first, but allow me to explain. Obviously, I'll be buying groceries and necessary household items. My plan is to not "shop for fun" until March 1. I guess I could say I'm not shopping for myself until March. No cute shoes from P@yless, even with they're BOGO (buy one, get one half off). I've found the cutest london blue topaz earrings I want. Nope. Not getting them.
Truly, I have a hard time really keeping our home neat. We tend to have "stuff" and I'm not good at deciding where "stuff" should go so that it's out of the way, but I can find it when I need it. So, no more "stuff" coming into our home that isn't necessary.
We just had Christmas, so I have plenty of clothes. And shoes. Hubby even got me some very pretty amethyst jewelry for Christmas. So, I really don't need any more jewelry. (Even though I do want those aforementioned earrings, I don't need them.) I'm trying to convince myself.
Think about the impact it can have on our finances if we only bought necessities. I'm sure we could live on Hubby's income alone. Imagine that, saving my entire paycheck. Wow.
Obviously, there will be the occasional "extra." My dad's bday is later this month. Of course, he's getting a gift. Hubby and I plan a ski trip to North Carolina every year. We're still going. Although it will involve spending money, it doesn't involve bringing things into our home.
Truly, I'm not sure if my goal is to spend less or to have less "stuff," but I think it will be rewarding either way.
I'll keep you updated on how it goes.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
I really don't like the idea of resolutions. To me, they carry the connotation of "these are things I'd like to do, but I won't."
But, since I'm not perfect, why not take a moment or two and write down some thoughts on areas I could improve?
I've already been working toward losing weight, so I'm not even going to touch that one. But, I would like to make eating healthier and exercising my lifestyle. I want to start jogging and want to be able to jog an entire mile without stopping. Truly, I want to lose 40 more pounds by 6/14. All I can do is try, right?
I don't think I'll ever be a super duper people-can-drop-in-at-anytime housekeeper, but I would like to make a conscious effort to doing a better job in the day to day stuff. Plus, our room and our laundry room tend to be the "catch all" areas. They both need to be cleaned out. I'll try to do that by Feb. 29th. Sounds reasonable.
Less time in front of the tv. Which would probably help on the above two items.
Work on changing my attitude about people who get on my nerves. 'Nuff said.
Read the Bible more. Which would probably help on the above item.
Spending more time with those I love. Not being as stressed about things that don't matter. Try to be laying down, even if reading or watching tv, by 10:00 three nights a week.
I'm going to stop there. Goodness knows I can't make a list of all the things I need improvement on, but that's a good start!
Happy New Year!
Still amazed: at God's grace
Still getting used to: being a real grown up!
Still loving: Hubby
Still proud of: how my family handles adversity
Still not proud of: my attitude
Still hoping: to rekindle old friendships
Still worried: if Daddy is really taking care of himself
Still never going to: like shaking hands (germs - gross!)
Still pretending: that I'm not a year older
Still reading: blogs online
Still wanting to read: the entire Bible in one year
Still interested in: making things (sewing, crocheting, ...)
Still not interested in: having a glamorous life
Still looking forward to: traveling
Still not looking forward to: my "annual" checkup
Still failing: to love others like Christ loves me
Still grateful for: God's forgiveness
Still praying: our friends who are not in church
Still not believing in: giving up
Still believing in: Jesus
What are YOU still doing?
* * *
Be still and know that I am God ~ Psalm 46:10
Have any of you ever done We!ght Watcher$? I love their program - no prepackaged food required, lots of fruit and veggies, nothing completely off limits - just good, common sense eating and exercising. Well, once you've been going for a while, you can get a "No Weigh In Pass." I'm not officially doing their program, but it's what I'm doing today!
I am already at work this morning and I did not step on the scale this morning. I know about where I am since I weighed a few days ago, but I did not want to get all freaked out today. Just not how I wanted to start the new year - hysterical just isn't very flattering to anyone.
Anyhoo, I have pretty much relaxed my eating habits since Christmas Day and had two birthdays since (hubby's is 12/29 and mine is New Year's Day) and with all the festivities, I just didn't want to see the damage yet. I thought I'd give myself a week to journal - yes, I'm going to journal my food this week, hopefully posting it here - and see if I could make a decent recovery before next week's weigh in.
I hope you had a wonderful New Year's Day and that 2008 is a wonderful year for you!