To Resolve or Not to Resolve?

That is the question.

I really don't like the idea of resolutions. To me, they carry the connotation of "these are things I'd like to do, but I won't."

But, since I'm not perfect, why not take a moment or two and write down some thoughts on areas I could improve?

I've already been working toward losing weight, so I'm not even going to touch that one. But, I would like to make eating healthier and exercising my lifestyle. I want to start jogging and want to be able to jog an entire mile without stopping. Truly, I want to lose 40 more pounds by 6/14. All I can do is try, right?

I don't think I'll ever be a super duper people-can-drop-in-at-anytime housekeeper, but I would like to make a conscious effort to doing a better job in the day to day stuff. Plus, our room and our laundry room tend to be the "catch all" areas. They both need to be cleaned out. I'll try to do that by Feb. 29th. Sounds reasonable.

Less time in front of the tv. Which would probably help on the above two items.

Work on changing my attitude about people who get on my nerves. 'Nuff said.

Read the Bible more. Which would probably help on the above item.

Spending more time with those I love. Not being as stressed about things that don't matter. Try to be laying down, even if reading or watching tv, by 10:00 three nights a week.

I'm going to stop there. Goodness knows I can't make a list of all the things I need improvement on, but that's a good start!

Happy New Year!

My Story

Hello, my name is Lisa Kay, and I've been fat since I was 18.

That statement is 85% accurate.

My entire life, I thought I was fat. So, when I would gain a few pounds here and there or enjoy Christmas desserts too much or make some bad food decision, I would think, "Well, I'm fat. This is what happens." Keep in mind, I am 5'7"ish and I thought I was obese because I weighed 145 pounds my sophomore year in high school. It didn't help that my best friend was 5'1" and weighed 95 pounds. I really didn't have anyone to compare myself to. I was a few inches taller than my friends, I actually had a reason to wear a br@ (if you you know what I mean), so, of course I weighed more. I just didn't see it that way. All I knew was that I had to buy bigger sizes than my friends. And, the truth is, it is hard to buy an 8, when your friends are 0 and 2. My biggest problem was myself, low esteem, and poor body image. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a fat person staring back at me.

My true struggle with weight began when hubby and I started dating. We went out. A lot. To a lot of restaurants. And we were so happy and in love, we would order an appetizer, salad, entree, and dessert. By the time I graduated, I couldn't wear the jeans or dresses I had worn the previous fall.

Then, I went away to college.

Ever heard of the "freshman fifteen?"

My experience was more like the freshman 25.

I had a hard time adjusting to college and dorm life. I thought I was being adventurous by attending a college where I didn't know anyone. It was tucked in the north Georgia mountains. The people were friendly. I loved it. However, I missed home and my boyfriend immensely. I ate to feel better.

And, since I was "fat," this is just what happens, right?

Of course, by January, I was adapted to college life and I was a big girl. I was quite embarrassed by my weight, but what I could do? That summer, my mom (who was around 5'8-9" and worked reasonably so to keep her weight in the healthy range) and I discussed it and she offered to pay for my food if I would go to Jenny Cr@ig.

I weighed in at 182 pounds.

I was going to summer school in college to graduate early, so drove home and got my food on Saturdays, never ate in the cafeteria at school, and by summer's end, I had lost nearly 30 pounds eating their food. I had to have been dedicated because the food didn't taste that great!

I kept most of it off my sophomore year, maybe gaining 10 pounds, but I stabilized, even if I was a bit heavy. I graduated with my Associates Degree, moved back home, and went to working on my Bachelor's Degree.

In November of my senior year of college, my mom got sick. She passed away in January while I was student teaching. I was reeling from so much grief, and shock. For the first time in my life, I was too upset to eat. That has never happened before or since. I was wearing size 10 clothes that summer and it was nice, but I certainly hadn't worked for it.

Hubby and I got married in October and I really put on weight fast. I think I hadn't dealt with the grief appropriately because I focused my joy on the upcoming wedding. Once I didn't have that to look forward to, I crashed into a deep depression.

I ended up weighing 242 pounds. My heavest ever in my life - before or since.

(Don't worry, folks, this is where the story gets shorter.)

Eating healthy foods, I lost 45 pounds and that's where I stopped.

I've gained and lost 25 pounds about 5 or 6 times, keeping me in the over 200's for a few years now.

It seems like every time I get close to 195, I freeze up and stop doing the right things. Sometimes it's because of the timing (holidays). Sometimes, it's because of emotions (lost a precious member of my family last year). Sometimes, it's because food just tastes good and I want it!

However, my 20's are nearly over and it's time to take care of myself. My feet and back hurt too much for someone of my age.

I want to be able to wear cuter clothes.

I want to not be the fat one in the group.

I want to have my confidence, umm, shall we say, with my husband. (How's that for putting it appropriately?)

I want to enjoy life and take care of the body the Lord has provided.

My journey is beginning.

Amazing Video

This is one of the most powerful things I've seen - take a look at this clip on God Tube.

Let me know what you think or if you link to it.

Grandma

Hubby's grandmother passed away Friday. We will miss her so much! A different grandson preached the funeral and he did a superb job. It seems that most funerals are either just about the person or just about the Bible. But, he did a great job of talking about her and then using the Bible to comfort. Truly, an outstanding job.

It's so interesting to learn about the "old days." When she was a child, on Saturdays, her mom would give her a dime. She would use that dime to take a trolley ride, go to town, watch a movie with candy, and take the trolley home. On a dime! She was also an insurance salesperson for a while. She was the first female in sales in the area. This was in the day when insurance premiums were collected, not mailed in. She had to carry a pistol because her route took her through a rough area and she was carrying so much cash! It's hard to imagine that she had even touched a pistol!

We will really miss Grandma. But, if Heaven has a beach, I know exactly where she and Grandpa are right now.

Especially Heather

Some of you may be following Heather's journey at Especially Heather. She is about to begin another round of chemo. Let's lift her up in prayer!

Prayer Request

Daddy has been trying to witness to the family across the street from him and the mom is now going through an especially rough time.

Last night her boyfriend came home after drinking with the guys and was starting trouble at home. She sent her little boy (who's starting kindergarten Monday) to go get my dad because she was afraid for her safety. Long story short: he's gone, but she is concerned about how to pay the mortgage without his income. She wasn't able to go into work that day due to car trouble and was fired.

In addition to the problems they are going through, this family needs the Lord most of all.

If you have time, please pray for: E (mom), R (boyfriend), D (son) and I (baby).
Thank you.